my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
