Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
