I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My bed smells like the plague
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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