I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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