i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
