If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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