I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
