I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
