he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
