haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
