so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
