More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
