Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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