fuck your aforementioned shoe
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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