This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
