i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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