Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
