Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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