what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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