they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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