My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize