Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
