Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
