I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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