Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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