bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
