Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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