do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
