woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
