I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
