I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
