You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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