shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
