do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
