dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
