somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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