I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
