so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
3 2 1 whiskey
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize