I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
