Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
