Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
