i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
