Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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