just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
