I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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