mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
