kristin has been a bad kristin
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
