she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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