I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
