I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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