Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
