we have pet lesbian snakes
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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