He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
