and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize