I'm sorry my penis didn't work
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
