your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You need a sexual gate keeper
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have aggressive nipples.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize