I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
