SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
