Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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