Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
