dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have fence marks all over my body
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
