you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
