pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize