My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
