@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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