So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
well you can't waste a boner
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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