Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
