I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this beer tastes like vomit already
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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