The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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