thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize