i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
third nipple confirmed
Randomize