Pappa wants mamma naked
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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