ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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