Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize