Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
