Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
